Divorce is difficult for anyone to cope with, but it becomes even more complicated when there are children involved. As a result, deciding custody arrangements after divorce is often one of the biggest priorities for separated couples.

When it comes to an adopted child, the guidance is no different than if the child is yours from birth. Once adopted, the individuals on the child’s adopting certificate have parental responsibility. So if that couple decides to separate, they will have to determine what is best for their adopted child.

What rights does an adopted child have?

An adopted child has the same rights as any other child. Once adopted, the parent(s) listed on the adoption certificate have parental rights in line with birth children. A child has the right to a custody agreement that places their needs first. They also have the right to child maintenance payments.

Child custody cases, including those involving adopted children, demand lawyers who deeply understand adoption laws and family law complexities. Their primary objective is to determine the child’s best interests, gather evidence, and present compelling arguments that consider stability, the child’s relationships with biological and adoptive parents, and the child’s preferences, if applicable.  

Lawyers navigate the complexities of balancing parental rights while prioritizing the child’s safety and emotional well-being. Sometimes, a guardian is appointed to independently represent the child’s interests, collaborating closely with the lawyers. Mediation and alternative dispute resolution methods may be encouraged to minimize adversarial proceedings. Lawyers may also consult child psychology and counseling experts for assessments and recommendations.

What if we are fostering to adopt?

This would be different if you were fostering a child with the intention of adopting. A foster carer does not have any parental rights to a child. Divorcing or separating might not lead to the child being taken away, but it would be down to the local authority to decide what is best for the child.

A foster child would not spend their time between both homes during the divorce. Instead, they would stay in the home with the carer who has been through the fostering application process.

Imagine a foster child named Alex placed in a foster home with two foster parents, Sarah and Michael. Sarah and Michael, a married couple, went through the fostering application process together. However, during Alex’s placement, they decide to get a divorce.

In this scenario, Alex would stay home with the foster parent who went through the fostering application process, assuming that person continues to meet the requirements. If Sarah initiated the fostering process, Alex would remain in Sarah’s home, and Michael would no longer be involved in the foster care arrangement. This decision ensures stability and consistency for the child during a challenging time.

What if only one parent has a biological relationship with the child?

If you are raising the child as a family, the parent with a biological relationship will not automatically have any priority over the adopted parent. The child will still be entitled to a custody agreement and child maintenance if required.

The courts do not automatically place the child with the biological parent full-time and instead consider what is best for the child. For example, if a father recently adopted the child and then separates from the child’s birth mother, it is unlikely that the courts would grant him sole custody. However, this could happen if the mother is unable to care for the child as this would be in the child’s best interests.

What if only one parent is on the adoption certificate?

If one parent adopted the child and then later married their spouse, they might not have got around to formalising the relationship. In this instance, the courts would assume that both spouses had parental responsibility for the child. Therefore, the spouse with their name on the adoption certificate would not be prioritised or automatically achieve sole custody.

In every situation, the courts will seek to find an arrangement in the child’s best interests. This is why child care arrangements are not commonly written into pre-nuptial agreements. It would be unfair to decide ahead of time what would be in the child’s best interests, as the situation could change a lot in the meantime.

Why is divorce with adopted children more difficult?

When a child is placed in an adopted home, they are already dealing with one type of loss. The loss of their home life and the loss of their birth parents is a big adjustment. So if their adopted parents decide to separate and divorce, the adopted child is thrown into turmoil again.

Adopted children might struggle with shared custody arrangements more than natural children, as they are already dealing with the difficulties of knowing where they “belong”. In addition, this upheaval of their personal life might be more traumatic if they still have memories of leaving their birth family.

And children who are raised by one biological and one adopted parent may feel a sense of rejection from both sides. As a result, children commonly have feelings of anxiety, anger and may even blame themselves for the divorce. This may be amplified further when it comes to adopted children.

Adopted children often struggle with attachment, and divorce may further aggravate these issues. Encouraging your child to talk about their feelings with their family or to a professional therapist can help them understand what is happening.

How can parents make divorce easier on adopted children?

The first thing to remember is that all children find divorce difficult. However, you can take steps to reassure the child and remind them that their parents will always love them. 

Help them understand that they will be living in two homes and that this might mean changes to their schedule. Remind them that you might not all live together again, but you’re still a family.

Like any child in the middle of a divorce, they need to be reminded that it isn’t their fault and that they have a safe place to express their emotions. Being warm and nurturing is more important than ever before. And finally, being respectful of your ex-spouse and not speaking ill of them around your children will also help.